Re: The right way to hang the loo roll!
Hostilities have broken out between the two major factions in the Toilet roll debate. The situation rapidly worsened when a member of the Against the Wall Brigade stated that we British in general and ladies in particular have always been at our best with our backs against the wall It is the true British way she added wistfully.
Meanwhile a spokesperson for the Over the Top Battalions replied nonsense it was the Against the Wall Brigade who were all wind and no action whilst the Over the Top Battalions went into battle and dealt with the business in hand.
The minor parties were largely unaffected the Use the Pole Party could not understand the cause, or the case, for the escalating crisis. It must be obvious that slotting onto a pole has much to recommend it, they claimed. A shout of what about us Swedes was ignored by the speaker.
A more interesting and controversial point of view was advanced by the Newspaper Squares Union who declared that it was all a contrived plot by the bourgeoisie at the expense of the workers. They further declared that part of the policy of the two major parties was to impose VAT on newspapers while at the same time abolishing all taxes on luxury quilted toilet tissue.
The Bab (Bidets are Best) party are keeping a low profile no doubt in fear of being called a foreign infiltrator. However in a late off the record statement a spokesperson said if necessary they were ready to fight a rearguard action.
Meanwhile a late intervention by the Call me Dave Party not wanting to miss out on any passing band wagon has put forward a proposal for twin roll holders inserting one roll back against the wall and the other over the top. Whereupon all the other parties agreed that if the Call me Dave Party prevailed we would all be in the
(unfortunately at this point the communication was mysteriously terminated.)