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orangutan
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27-03-2016, 06:21 PM
11

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
OG, So you have nothing to say how good she is to give up her time and be good enough to use her petrol to drive you to see your mother.
I hate to say it but you are ungrateful!
I'd say OG is principled. I have had friendships end over a matter of principle so I think I understand the question. It boils down to which is more important to you - the friendship or the principle?
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27-03-2016, 06:21 PM
12

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Originally Posted by Linden Tree ->
Could you not say to her that you strongly disagree with her stance, and for the sake of your friendship would rather that she didn't air her views in your company. A bit friendlier than putting her in a box


I think I'd probably just 'switch off' and let her ramble.
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27-03-2016, 06:30 PM
13

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

That is what I tend to do with the bunch of racists that I work with.
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27-03-2016, 06:34 PM
14

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Originally Posted by Older git ->
I have a very dear friend who is funny,helpful and sometimes takes me to see my mother. She is very nice. Now here comes the but..................she also thinks all muslims are terrorists and mosques should be closed. I say nothing and think-no point in arguing with someone who has had listened to too much rubbish,
Maybe you should say something OG. If you don't she won't have any idea of how you are thinking. If you get to discussing (not arguing) then you both will be able to understand each other better. It may be you agree to disagree and can maintain the friendship you both have with each other. At the very least she will likely be more careful what she says in your company. I think this is something which needs airing between the two of you.
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27-03-2016, 06:36 PM
15

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

We are all different and no one can advise you really OG
I would walk away from the friendship as I would not share those views
Others may be more tolerant
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27-03-2016, 06:42 PM
16

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Originally Posted by Older git ->
Ok-how can I reconcile remaining a friend of someone who holds views that I find dreadful?. I know, it`s cognative dissonance
I would have to say "they may be your views but not mine ",
We carn't judge every Muslim by the actions of a few .
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27-03-2016, 06:51 PM
17

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Some of you seem to be making a big deal about the lady's views. Why can't she have those views? Right or wrong, she is entitled to her views. If we all walked away from people who we didn't like because of their views, then we would end up very lonely people!
I normally let people ramble on... Why would I want to lose their friendship? After all, they might think my views are a load of tosh but just put up with them!
I think OG should stop being so precious and value the lady's friendship and good nature.
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27-03-2016, 07:34 PM
18

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
Some of you seem to be making a big deal about the lady's views. Why can't she have those views? Right or wrong, she is entitled to her views. If we all walked away from people who we didn't like because of their views, then we would end up very lonely people!
I normally let people ramble on... Why would I want to lose their friendship? After all, they might think my views are a load of tosh but just put up with them!
I think OG should stop being so precious and value the lady's friendship and good nature.
Art, you've put it much better than I could have! I agree whole heartedly with your post. Who are we to tell someone they cannot have a voice or opinion, or view? The last person to tell me to be quiet died nearly 11 years ago and I called him Dad.
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27-03-2016, 07:36 PM
19

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
Some of you seem to be making a big deal about the lady's views. Why can't she have those views? Right or wrong, she is entitled to her views. If we all walked away from people who we didn't like because of their views, then we would end up very lonely people!
I normally let people ramble on... Why would I want to lose their friendship? After all, they might think my views are a load of tosh but just put up with them!
I think OG should stop being so precious and value the lady's friendship and good nature.
You make a fair point - I think OG will be tolerant of her views
For me it gets testy when someone goes on and on, not respecting that I don't share the view
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27-03-2016, 08:08 PM
20

Re: Can we put friends in boxes?

Originally Posted by Linden Tree ->
Could you not say to her that you strongly disagree with her stance, and for the sake of your friendship would rather that she didn't air her views in your company. A bit friendlier than putting her in a box
That's called an ultimatum. Hardly the thing one does to good friends.
 
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