27-09-2013, 09:20 AM
21
Re: Apologies
Originally Posted by AudreyII
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However, if you say... "I'm sorry I upset you... BUT.. that wasn't what I meant, or perhaps you misunderstood" isn't that taking away from the apology? On the otherhand.. shouldn't you be able to let the person know that they misunderstood.?
Maybe depends a bit on the person who takes offence, though, because some will not care whether it is intentional or not.
27-09-2013, 09:47 AM
22
Re: Apologies
[QUOTE=orangutan;353279]I would sort of go with this. If I felt I had been misunderstood, I apologise first for offending the person who is upset. But if the offence was totally unintentional, and a result of misunderstanding, I also try to explain that it was unintentional. QUOTE]I would agree with that Orangutan. I'd hate someone to think I was hurtful if it wasn't true and they had got hold of the wrong end of the stick entirely.
Like I said earlier, we must also be prepared to take some of the responsibility, especially if we were in a tired or 'ratty' frame of mind to start with. It's easy to find fault when you're in a bad mood anyway.
If I upset someone without realising it I would probably say sorry and give them a hug, butwould also tell them I hadn't meant any such thing and apologise if I felt it had come out all wrong.
27-09-2013, 10:46 AM
23
Re: Apologies
Originally Posted by AudreyII
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I think a lot of people are ok with apologizing.. however feel the need to add a caveat relieving themselves of some of the responsibility and putting it on the shoulders of the other. Like saying.. I'm sorry you took my comments the wrong way.. but it was not my intention to hurt your feelings. Now THAT imo is not a genuine apology.
27-09-2013, 11:52 AM
24
Re: Apologies
Also it makes a difference if we are talking internet forum apologies or real life, I find in real life I rarely take offence and rarely need to apologise as words are easily interpreted but on forums I am apologising quite often for misunderstanding and causing offense where none was meant. Words with no facial expression can easily be misinterpreted.
27-09-2013, 11:57 AM
25
Re: Apologies
Originally Posted by Julie1962
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Also it makes a difference if we are talking internet forum apologies or real life, I find in real life I rarely take offence and rarely need to apologise as words are easily interpreted but on forums I am apologising quite often for misunderstanding and causing offense where none was meant. Words with no facial expression can easily be misinterpreted.
I completely agree. I often think I offend someone, or they misinterpret me, when its never anything of the sort.
I am a happy go lucky smiley type of person and the last thing I ever intend to do is upset anyone.
27-09-2013, 12:17 PM
26
Re: Apologies
That is very true, the lack of facial expression can cause a lot of misunderstandings on forums, the smilies and laughies (I know there's no such word but you know what I mean) help, although I think someone was recently complaining about the overuse of smilies, not 100% sure on that.
27-09-2013, 03:42 PM
30
Re: Apologies
Originally Posted by ben-varrey
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I suppose it will depend upon the situation. Some people do take offence very, very quickly at the slightest thing so maybe the one offering the apology does have the right to say that offence wasn't intended but on reflection, could have worded it better but is still entitled to their opinion.
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