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12-01-2018, 11:24 PM
1

Canít

In the last thirty years or so our lives have become surrounded by prohibition and disapproval. There are literally hundreds of things our parents took for granted that we can no longer do.

Some are included in the thousands of new laws passed by governments. Some are the pronouncements of scientists and self-proclaimed experts in the fields of health or public safety. Some are the result of bungling by the police, or misinterpretation of the law. Others are diktats from the European Union.

Many are caused by local government officials flexing their muscles and throwing their weight about. Still more emanate from our culture of political correctness, from our fondness for casting blame and leaping to litigation, and from the eagerness with which we take offence at the least little thing or see offence where none exists.

These are but a few, please feel free to add more and have a rant. You will feel better for it.. I promise
A lot of the following were nicked from another site with just a few added by me, please contribute.



1. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being moved on by some local council jobsworth armed with a £50 fixed penalty notice.

2. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being told to wear Factor 1,000 in case you burn.

3. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being harangued because it offends Islam.

4. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being suspected of child abuse. Unless you are a priest.

5. You can't do, write or say anything without looking over your shoulder in case someone doesn't like it.

6. You can't send out of the country people who've come here illegally or come as our guests and then commit crimes or plot to kill us.

7. You can't fly without being made to feel guilty.

8. You can't drive without being made to feel guilty.

9. You can't smoke without being made to feel guilty.

10. You can't eat without being made to feel guilty.

11. You can't put salt on your chips without feeling guilty.

12. You can't eat chips without feeling guilty.

13. You can't eat fish without feeling guilty (unless you're Japanese and it's a huge whale which is technically not a fish. )

14. You can't have a bonfire and fireworks without some tosser from elfin safety knocking on your door and telling you (a) how to do it, and/or (b) not to do it.

15. You can't ogle a barmaid without being accused of sexual harassment even if she is a ugly and would appreciate it.

16.You can't work with, around or close to children without being branded a potential pervert. Unless you are a priest see above.

17. You can't ask a builder to get rid of the rubbish he's created while working on your house, because unless he has a special licence to do so, he'll be fined £5,000.

18. You can't make fun of silly people who believe in fairies, devil-worship, UFOs, acupuncture, herbal therapy, man-made global warming, centuries-old prophets with towels round their heads or some old man with a beard who lives in the sky (no, not Richard Branson. The other one).

19. You can't carry a pen-knife.

20. You can't save up and buy a nice house to leave to your kids (because the bloody government will steal it when you die).

21. You can't get through September, October and November without being bombarded with stuff about Christmas, which, let's make no mistake about it, doesn't happen until almost the end of December. That's December, all right?

22. You can't expect any scientist to talk sense at any time. Actually, they never have, have they? In 1970 some scientists told us "in ten years all important animal life in the sea will be extinct. Large areas of coastline will have to be evacuated because of the stench of dead fish".

23. You can't expect anyone at all to talk any sense if the topic under discussion is Global Warming. Here's just one example. In the Stern Report there was much mention of "irreversible melting of ice". Quite a lot of scientists know that water freezes again when it gets cold enough. So not completely irreversible, then?

24. You can't get a passport. You know, a plain and simple little booklet with your name and address and a photo in it, that you show to people when you go on holiday in France or Majorca. A simple little booklet that doesn't involve betraying your entire life-history, giving samples of every bodily fluid you excrete, prints of every digit, slivers of finger-nail, lock of hair, eye of toad and wing of bat etc.

25. You can't open a bank account or invest your money in a financial product without giving them all sorts of information to prove your identity. Once upon a time what you did with your own money was your own business Ö


There must be more??????
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12-01-2018, 11:32 PM
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Re: Canít

I can't read posts that long
Well not after several glasses of wine anyway
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12-01-2018, 11:32 PM
3

Re: Canít

Try one canít at a time
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12-01-2018, 11:35 PM
4

Re: Canít

Originally Posted by Rehab44 ->
Try one canít at a time
Hic hic, I will try.
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12-01-2018, 11:38 PM
5

Re: Canít

A lot of what you say there is true, Rehab.
But console yourself dear, because one day, our Grandchildren won't be able to do half what we have done even.

They will probably think we had it easy.
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12-01-2018, 11:39 PM
6

Re: Canít

Rehab, l remember, my teacher at school saying, ĎThereís no such word as, canít!
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12-01-2018, 11:41 PM
7

Re: Canít

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
Rehab, l remember, my teacher at school saying, ĎThereís no such word as, canít!

My Dad always used to tell us that, Art.
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12-01-2018, 11:42 PM
8

Re: Canít

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
Rehab, l remember, my teacher at school saying, ĎThereís no such word as, canít!
Followed by the thrown duster to the head
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12-01-2018, 11:45 PM
9

Re: Canít

Originally Posted by Mups ->
A lot of what you say there is true, Rehab.
But console yourself dear, because one day, our Grandchildren won't be able to do half what we have done even.

They will probably think we had it easy.
I think itís going to be harder for them, a lot of jobs being done by robots, a planet depleted of vital resources..increasing demands on public services etc etc.
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12-01-2018, 11:48 PM
10

Re: Canít

Originally Posted by Rehab44 ->
1. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being moved on by some local council jobsworth armed with a £50 fixed penalty notice.

2. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being told to wear Factor 1,000 in case you burn.

3. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being harangued because it offends Islam.

4. You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being suspected of child abuse. Unless you are a priest.

5. You can't do, write or say anything without looking over your shoulder in case someone doesn't like it.

7. You can't fly without being made to feel guilty.

8. You can't drive without being made to feel guilty.

9. You can't smoke without being made to feel guilty.

10. You can't eat without being made to feel guilty.

11. You can't put salt on your chips without feeling guilty.

12. You can't eat chips without feeling guilty.

13. You can't eat fish without feeling guilty (unless you're Japanese and it's a huge whale which is technically not a fish. )

14. You can't have a bonfire and fireworks without some tosser from elfin safety knocking on your door and telling you (a) how to do it, and/or (b) not to do it.

15. You can't ogle a barmaid without being accused of sexual harassment even if she is a ugly and would appreciate it.

16.You can't work with, around or close to children without being branded a potential pervert. Unless you are a priest see above.

17. You can't ask a builder to get rid of the rubbish he's created while working on your house, because unless he has a special licence to do so, he'll be fined £5,000.

18. You can't make fun of silly people who believe in fairies, devil-worship, UFOs, acupuncture, herbal therapy, man-made global warming, centuries-old prophets with towels round their heads or some old man with a beard who lives in the sky (no, not Richard Branson. The other one).

19. You can't carry a pen-knife.

20. You can't save up and buy a nice house to leave to your kids (because the bloody government will steal it when you die).

21. You can't get through September, October and November without being bombarded with stuff about Christmas, which, let's make no mistake about it, doesn't happen until almost the end of December. That's December, all right?

22. You can't expect any scientist to talk sense at any time. Actually, they never have, have they? In 1970 some scientists told us "in ten years all important animal life in the sea will be extinct. Large areas of coastline will have to be evacuated because of the stench of dead fish".

23. You can't expect anyone at all to talk any sense if the topic under discussion is Global Warming. Here's just one example. In the Stern Report there was much mention of "irreversible melting of ice". Quite a lot of scientists know that water freezes again when it gets cold enough. So not completely irreversible, then?

24. You can't get a passport. You know, a plain and simple little booklet with your name and address and a photo in it, that you show to people when you go on holiday in France or Majorca. A simple little booklet that doesn't involve betraying your entire life-history, giving samples of every bodily fluid you excrete, prints of every digit, slivers of finger-nail, lock of hair, eye of toad and wing of bat etc.


There must be more??????
Where the heck do you live? I can do all those things - it's called CHOICE............it's also my choice as to whether I CHOOSE to feel guilty or not!

I've left out no's 6.........and 25. No 6 is something you would like your government to do........so tell them that!!! and number 25 is for your own protection!
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