Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

Hi Falconer, maybe the premise that our elders had some superior knowledge was just a fallacy.

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

As a child being brought up by a very phsyically and mentaly abusive Father I hated him with such a vehemence it used to frighten my Mother. She also suffered at his hand, so the act of seeking advice etc was, in our house, a no no from the start.

But what that did teach me from the start was that if you are mentally strong enough you can face life straight on, I supppose this is why I react in certain ways when I read posts I think could well be sorted out by the writer,instead of whinging on here, I am also accused of arrogance and ignorance simply because I have learnt in life if you have something to say, then say it, don't think about it, say it.

Now coming to my own children, ( two boys), yes they did come to me wanting advice, when I thought it childish advice they wanted I treated them like children, when it was, lets say serious advice, we would go for a walk, no matter what age they were, to be alone and talk all things through, so I don't really think I ever gave advice, more the fact I listened --- questioned --- and let them reach their own conclusions, that way they have never turned round and said I didn't know what I was taling about, or have them say, you never listen to me.

When the grandchildren came and visited us we would take them for walks and listen to their chatter, its amazing how much you can learn from a child just by listening.

If in town and we walked past a MacDonalds, they would try and throw a tantrum, ( at times) because Mummy and Daddy ALWAYS gave in to a bout of hystoryonics and in they would go. They knew, when they were in Grandads house that after a certain hour in the day children were seen but not heard, and they knew they had to bahave .

That said, we had tremendous amounts of fun and laughter, they love coming to visit us, and my youngest grandaughter said the last time we spoke---that she wanted to marry me coz she felt safe with me.

So I suppose, really the answer to your question is ----- no I don't advise, both my sons and I still go for walks and talk things through, the memories of my childhood still linger with me to this day I would never lay a hand on my wife, and she has ALWAYS been my equal, we have always tried to work together --- so really there's not a lot to learn from me.

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

I've always found that kids tend to take any advice parents give them and put it in the 'storage' file at the back of their mind. What you have to remember is Parents actually know nothing, they were never young, they never did anything daring, or stupid, or illegal or even anything fun............they never even had sex, for gawd sake.

Eventually, our kids will open the 'storage' file and it will all still be intact. But by that time they will be older and wiser and realise that some of the advice they were given was actually quite good.

I don't remember taking much of the advice my mother gave me when I was young.......................but as I got older and became a mother myself a lot of it came back back to me, which helped me to make the right decisions when bringing up my own family. So that, in my opinion, is how it will be with our offspring, and their offspring.

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

I never knew my mother but found the guidance (rather than advice) given to me by my father has been invaluable and helped me to navigate my way through life .

I was widowed when my son was very young. We have always been friends as well as mother/son. Rather than my giving advice to him we have always talked things through looking at all the possibilities of a situation. That way my son has made his own decisions right or wrong.

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

Karma is a belief system that explains what appears irrational in the present life---eg children being born diseased=Karma explains WHY in terms of past life actions that call for atonement. It rests on the theory of balance and nobody says it's necessarily a forgiving system! We do have free will after all, at least I believe we do, so we shape our own Karma.

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

Whatever floats your boat I suppose

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

I'm just learning that not everybody's outlook on life is/was the same as mine. I was brought up a child of the 60s and until recently thought I had a broad outlook on life, now I realise I actually led a very sheltered life. I don't pass judgement quickly (though I'm not sure I ever did) and I ask questions and I'm learning more now than I ever knew I needed/wanted to know. Am I happier, I don't know. My life is now so different from anything it used to be I can't judge. But one thing I do know is some people are a lot nicer than I first thought they were, simply because I listened properly to what they were saying.
I'm learning even with adults of the opposite sex there are different kinds of love but they mean just as much and I've learned my son accepts I will make my own decisions, though he does not agree he will not interfere. Most of all I'm learning I have some wonderful friends (some very old and some very new).
Have always said "The more I see of people the more I love my dog" My dog adores me, till someone more interesting comes along and he gets right up my nose, I got him 4 years ago from an animal sanctuary, is he grateful is he heck. Chewed seatbelts in car 2 wks ago and Sunday found he'd hid letter from DVLA under the bed and it's now out of date so will have to start again. Anyone want a 6 yr old Jack Russell free to good home/ bad home any home as long as it's not mine. Have got him on my knee showing him this, what's he doing ??
LAUGHING, he does that a lot. Will have my cup of coffee and take him for a walk while I explain we're having visitors next week and they're fetching cat and 2 kittens, I'll get even for the seat belts (£89).

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

Hi Jonsey,
You're absolutely right, we are blessed and I learn every single day that counting our blessings keeps us sane!

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

Yes we can go of either two ways swimming with the tide or against the tide.
We are evolving entity's but I think the trouble is, some people grow older and become too rigid and resistant to change. As evolving human beings we much embrace change and still have the ability to adapt. A positive mental attitude is the key I feel.

Re: what have we learnt about life so far?

I've learnt in a few short months that I like some people for what they are, others I don't like at all.