Care in the home

My 90 year old dad has now been in hospital for nearly 2 weeks following a scare he had - difficulty breathing due to bad cough. He also has angina. They are considering fitting a pacemaker. However I think this stay in hospital may be a watershed in terms of his ability to live alone. Certainly 2 weeks of lying in bed have not helped as he can't now stand up. He's getting increasingly frail, isn't eating very well and is etting more isolated. However he's fiercely independent, still has all his mental abilities and is devoted to living in the village he has lived in for 53 years.
I was wondering if any members had experience of different ways of providing some help in the home? I was thinking the ideal would be some lovely person who pops in each morning, makes sure he's up, washed and dressed and then makes him a decent breakfast and chats with him for a bit befoe leaving him something to heat up for lunch. Am I living in cloud cuckoo land? We tried meals on wheels a few years ago when my mum was alive but with Alzheimers and he hated the food.
I can't pop in on him as he lives 420 miles away in Scotland.

Re: Care in the home

No your not in cloud cuckoo land , There is around us people you have described its a business., that do just that but you have to pay . So look into whats in your Dads area , and I believe the Social services do what you describe too and that im sure comes under Social care , I have heard of carers going in but not always to the satisfaction of the families concerned .if he is determined to live at home then he should be able to . I know someone who was still in his own home at the age of 105 with Carers going in 3 times a day ..

Re: Care in the home

Lorna, I don't believe you're living in cloud cuckoo land at all.

My wife is a Social Worker and knows people in other departments (she works with families) who do that sort of thing.

I'm not sure how easy it is to get, but it is there.

Of course there are also private carers which do a fantastic job.

What you'd need to do is find out the services in the local area and ring round and ask for more information.

My ex-mother-in-law is 90 (she'll be 91 tomorrow) and fortunately manages to live in her own house and is still mobile with her walking stick and still drives. Her daughter comes round daily to see her but it isn't something that is completely necessary. She's one of the lucky ones of course but with the right care your father could live an independent life in his own home.

I wish you the best of luck.

Re: Care in the home

My Mum is 92 and lives in her own home, she has a live in carer through a private agency, there's two carers altogether that swop over every two or three months. They are both from South Africa and are both very good.

The only thing is that a live-in carer are VERY expensive

My Dad was 90 when he died and five years before he had two private carers coming in four times a day, he couldn't walk at all. That was quite expensive but not as expensive as a live-in carer. You can get the same help on Social Services. If your Dad can't walk at all he will probably need two carers as one carer wouldn't be allowed to help him onto the toilet or comode on their own, whereas my Mum can walk just a little bit.

You are better going through an agency as if you just rely on one person they may let you down or if they are ill there's no one to stand in. Best to contact Social Services and have a word with them.

The only problem with carers that come to your house say three or four times a day is that you never know when they are coming. Sometimes Dad used to have to lye in bed upto 11.00 am waiting for them to come and get him up which he used to hate as he was never used to staying in bed that long. Also in the evening sometimes they used to put him to bed at about 9.00 pm whereas he would prefer to go to bed at about 11.00 pm.

But at least they got to stay in their own home.

Good luck anyway.

Re: Care in the home

How expensive is very expensive?
I know what you are saying about not knowing when they are coming, as we had that when my mum had someone come to get her up, and I think it would really impact on how you feel about life if you can't decide when to get up in the morning or when to go to bed. Also some of the people who came to "help" mum seemed quite brutal in their approach.

Re: Care in the home

Here is a useful fact sheet with contact numbers etc.

http://tinyurl.com/b7xkbw2

It is a minefield out there but this factsheet may help you to get the ball rolling for your father.

The situation for home care is different up in Scotland.

I hope you will be able to help him remain at home as long as possible.

.







http://tinyurl.com/b7xkbw2

Re: Care in the home

Thanks for link Michael!

Re: Care in the home

I would have no desire to stay in my own home if I couldn't care for myself adequately. I would much prefer to go into a good quality care home such as the one in which my mother resides.

Re: Care in the home

With Dad's care (carers coming in four times a day) Mum was always there to keep an eye on things so they couldn't give any brutal treatment without it being noticed.

With Mum's care, the live in carers are very good and the family (including myself) are up there most days to visit Mum as we all live near her. She is with a very good agency but it costs about a thousand pounds a week It is very expensive as a carer lives with her and is there all the time.

Your Dad will need two carers if he can't walk, they will probably use a turntable for him to hold onto and then turn him around into the wheelchair (it's like a pole with a turntable at the end), Dad used this all the time as he couldn't stand or walk.

It is hard trying to sort out the best for a parent isn't it. Both my parents have and had good minds, no dimentia.

Re: Care in the home

I've just thought of this which I need to add regarding my last post.

When Dad wanted to go too the toilet (I call it big jobs, sorry but I've got a dog ) it's very difficult wanting to go when the carers are there. Many a times Dad was bursting to go and the carers weren't coming for another three hours, or he wanted to go five minutes after they had called. It used to make him very anxious and had to keep pushing it back so he had to go in his pants where he couldn't hang on any longer. Mum couldn't help him as she wasn't strong enough and wasn't allowed to lift him. The carers always have lots of other patients to deal with so you couldn't call them back.

If someone can't walk or stand you're in a different ball game from someone that can walk, they need a lot more care. You really need someone with them all the time, like I said, Mum was there with Dad even though she couldn't do much she was there to keep an eye on him.

I am no expert but I'm just telling you of my experiences I have encountered with my parents, I hope it has helped.