28-06-2015, 07:41 AM
11
Re: Am I being unfair?
Supposing the roles were reversed and your friend was the one in hospital with very few friends surely she would expect you and the elderly gentleman to visit. What you give so shall you receive or deserve to receive. I only hope she will have someone to support her in her latter years.28-06-2015, 09:04 AM
12
Re: Am I being unfair?
Originally Posted by Cass
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Life isnt fair..We all have bounderies and limits. What one person takes in their stride another finds an impossible burden.
Is it possible your friend sees her future every time she visits? Is being in a home her greatest fear?
Have you asked?
Maybe its not that she doesnt want to but that she cannot bring herself to face her own demons.
28-06-2015, 11:48 AM
13
Re: Am I being unfair?
Originally Posted by Cass
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Life isnt fair..We all have bounderies and limits. What one person takes in their stride another finds an impossible burden.
Is it possible your friend sees her future every time she visits? Is being in a home her greatest fear?
Have you asked?
Maybe its not that she doesnt want to but that she cannot bring herself to face her own demons.
If your friend has been a good friend, please don't let this spoil a friendship. Her making an excuse is maybe easier than telling you the real reason for her not going, but it is her decision whatever the reason.
28-06-2015, 12:23 PM
14
Re: Am I being unfair?
Originally Posted by AlbertaS
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Basically my thoughts are the same as Cass.If your friend has been a good friend, please don't let this spoil a friendship. Her making an excuse is maybe easier than telling you the real reason for her not going, but it is her decision whatever the reason.
28-06-2015, 12:40 PM
15
Re: Am I being unfair?
I have visited my mother every week in a Nursing home for 17 years, its depressing I have to say, the older we get the more depressing it is, but I go, on the other hand my brother hates going and does go but not as much as me and his wife my S-I-L the reason it depresses him and he keeps saying as he is sat there (Mum cant hear) this is me in 10 years time !!!! and more, so what I am saying people are different some can cope with whatever is thrown at them some cant, its not that persons fault its just life.28-06-2015, 12:44 PM
16
Re: Am I being unfair?
Originally Posted by Marj
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I have visited my mother every week in a Nursing home for 17 years, its depressing I have to say, the older we get the more depressing it is, but I go, on the other hand my brother hates going and does go but not as much as me and his wife my S-I-L the reason it depresses him and he keeps saying as he is sat there (Mum cant hear) this is me in 10 years time !!!! and more, so what I am saying people are different some can cope with whatever is thrown at them some cant, its not that persons fault its just life.
28-06-2015, 12:47 PM
17
Re: Am I being unfair?
Originally Posted by Patsy
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Yes its not 'cut and dried' - 'black or white' is it ...........
28-06-2015, 12:55 PM
18
Re: Am I being unfair?
Originally Posted by ruthio
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No it's not, but it has to be said that while some will get on with it out of a sense of love/compassion/friendship/goodwill/duty...others will sit back and let them.
Shallow thought - you know 'nothing' of her
I give her benefit of reasoning
28-06-2015, 01:08 PM
19
Re: Am I being unfair?
Originally Posted by Patsy
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And 'in your opinion' - that is what this lady is doing ?Shallow thought - you know 'nothing' of her
I give her benefit of reasoning
Same as the brother; so long as his wife and sister go to see his mum he won't make the effort.
My reasoning.
In your opinion this is shallow thinking? Fine by me.
We none of us know more about this woman than what we were told in post 1.
Actually I doubt there are many who visit friends or relatives in care homes who are uplifted and invigorated by the experience.
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