What to do?

We've just got back from our Friday walk; something we try to do every Friday as my wife is retired so she's on her own all day from Monday to Thursday and is having mobility problems due to a damaged hip.

On our way home we saw an elderly lady, (who I've often seen from 07:00 to 07:30 on many a morning), struggling home with shopping bags on each arm.

When I first saw her she was more erect and although I was rather concerned, she seemed to be OK.

Now she's bent almost double with two flimsy supermarket bags so we helped her as where she lives was virtually yards away.

Couldn't just leave her - she looked done-in!

I could barely understand her and my wife struggled too but this woman is English / British but obviously very, very frail and doesn't appear to be in full control of her faculties.

We helped her to her home - a small flat in a sheltered block - but when she opened her front door the small living room with adjacent kitchenette was festooned with at least 40 more supermarket carrier bags of stuff that had obviously been dropped as she'd come in on previous occasions.

The smell of rotting food was absolutely awful but she didn't seem to notice it and just wanted us to go and leave her alone.

We left her at that point as she seemed to be getting agitated at our presence and we couldn't help but notice that.
You do feel that you mustn't intrude don't you?

However, going home my wife asked me what should we do.

The thing is, what DO you do?

This woman seems to have nobody; there were no photos anywhere and her flat looked like she was entirely alone.

We're just thinking what to do now - this woman needs help but do we stick our noses in - or not?

My MIL is 90 in a month but she's fine compared to this woman so I really don't know what to do now.

My wife rang Social Services but unless we are related, they don't seem to want to know! stevmk2

Re: What to do?

If she is in sheltered housing is there anyone there you can speak to ?

Re: What to do?

Hi stevmk2. It's difficult to know what to do.

I would try to contact a voluntary organization such as Age Uk and say I'm concerned about a vulnerable person. You've tried Social Services and registered your worries - that is more than a lot of people would do.

I agree with Julie1962 is anyone available at the sheltered housing to chat with?

Take care

Re: What to do?

From what my wife was told a little while ago, unless we are relatives, they don't want to know Julie.

If we were related we'd be given the long, tortuous route to complain or bring this to someone's attention but society now decrees that any worries of concerned members of the public don't warrant any action.

That's the feeling my wife got just now - keep your nose out, it's nothing to do with you........stevmk2

Re: What to do?

It's terribly sad not sure what to suggest, we look in on an elderly neighbour I have her sons phone number so can call him if there is a problem but we set that up a few years ago when her husband died. Wonder if any of her neighbours would be able to help ?

Re: What to do?

Age UK will help out Steve - give them a ring

Re: What to do?

We tried knocking next door Julie - a man came to the door , reeking of alcohol and told us to - er - go away stevmk2

Re: What to do?

Steve matey, if she lives in 'sheltered' accommodation then the local warden or the Council Housing Department ought to be alerted.

Re: What to do?

Perhaps you could ring the Environmental Health because, if as you say, there is the smell of rotting food this could be a health hazard and attract vermin - this will make the Council sit up and take notice.

Well done for showing kindness to this lady.

Re: What to do?

I'm surprised social care didn't want to know Steve, but I agree with the others that Age UK should be able to point you in the right direction.
I wonder if she has family that just don't care, or if she is alone? It's very sad isn't it.