Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

My husband and I do not have kids although I grew up with many kids so to speak, because my siblings were older & had kids early. I always got on well with them as a teen & was the one hanging out with them, babysitting, etc. My own parents never gave me guff for choosing to be childless.

When I got married I felt the usual"we'll have kids one day".
Well, that day kept passing & passing & both of us just never felt like it.

I used to get really angry inside when we'd drive 120 miles to some reunion on my husbands side (many religious types, hubby not like them). I'd be questioned everytime, "so, when's the baby coming?" or "when are you both going to settle down & start a family?", etc.

We haven't gone to reunions in years because if it's not one judgment it's another.

Anyway, even though we don't dislike children, smile at them, talk to babies, etc we still are happy just the two of us, which is good because there's no way I can get pregnant now

We have many animals & are very fulfilled in everything we do as well.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

No i decided to wait until i felt we were ready to have a child on our own timescale.Made no difference in the long term.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

Then that is all that matters, no one should feel pressured to have children.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

I never felt pressure to have them, Geez I only had to look at a female and she fell pregnant.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

No I never felt pressured just wanted kids now I have beautiful grand kids all grown up who bring sunshine into our lives.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

Pressure built but not from outside as we had miscarried one after another then a still birth then one just lived an hour, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves I think.
Then when my sisters failed as parents and we filled the home with their children (two arrived middle of the night just dumped on the doorstep !) the pressure for our own went away and we settled to parenting them.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

We felt some pressure from my husbands side to have children as he was an only child.

But like you Julie after all the miscarriages and the strain that that put on our relationship.

I don't know how we survived but we did, we got two cats and I put all the love I had to them. I see regularly my nieces children and we buy presents for them.

We realised that our life would have been so different if we had had children. But I must say I like my life the way it is.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

Not really, it's a big decision and not to be taken lightly.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

I know a lot of people who never had children and are happy, but personally if my wife and I hadn't had our daughter I would be really regretful.

I have always been family oriented and fulfilling that was my main aim in life, which thankfully (for me) I achieved.

Re: Did You Feel Pressured To Have Children?

I felt no pressure at all. We both decided when the time was right but suffered a miscarriage the first time, which was devastating. We were advised to wait a while before attempting again. I was in danger of losing my second child but they found that I had a medical problem but they found a solution to the problem and I went on to have the family that we wanted.