What a Night.
I didn't have a very good night last night. Let me explain.
I got up about 2.30 for a wee. I was very tired, and one eye open, stumbled along to the loo. Just as I got to the bathroom door I became aware of a terrible pong. It turned out to be my Nellie, she'd poo'd in the kitchen. Just what I needed to deal with at 2.30 in the morning.
There she lay, upside down in her bed, legs in the air like a dying fly, smirking, and without a care in the world.
I walked past her, cursing and muttering, (prodding her in the ribs as I went by), and went outside to get my mop and bucket.
As I finished cleaning up, I went to put the bucket back outside and saw, to my horror, another one of the giant spiders hanging on the wall, watching me. So he had to be dispatched and then I tried once more, to get back to bed.
I locked up again, turned all the lights back off, and made my way back to my bedroom. Just as I was about to give myself up to my very alluring mattress, I moved a pillow to plump it up, and lo and behold, ANOTHER giant spider was UNDER MY PILLOW!!!!!
All feelings of tiredness disappeared in a nano-second and I was across the room, tripped over the old dogs bed in the corner, stubbed my toe on the chest of drawers, and grabbed the fly swat at breathtaking speed. I was terrified it would scarper and I wouldn't know where it had gone.
I swatted him (several times to make sure), and that made a mess on my bottom sheet. I couldn't sleep with that there, so next I had to get a wet sponge and clean the sheet.
When I finally settled down again, could I sleep - could I 'eck! I kept wondering if there were any more spiders lurking in unexpected places, waiting to surprise me when I least expected it.
This morning I feel like I've only had about half hours sleep all night.