Re: My Dad has cancer and my Mum is forgetful
Thank you so much for taking the trouble to reply with your kind and helpful comments.
The latest prognonis is it may not be prostate cancer it my be rectal which is worse.
It isn't kidney cancer which is good, he had a lymph node tumour near his kidney the only lymph one he has, which is better? Not sure.
He has liver cancer which is bad but...............
His lung CT came back 100% clear which is a hell of a relief.
His bone CT scan came back clear, but they are doing another one today with some injection that attaches to any tumours in the bones so they show up. I am personally confident this is a make sure scan rather that it will show up anything.
So I have bounced from, "after the scans he can come home" (Wednesday) which I interpreted as "they are sending him home to die nothing can be done - 12 weeks - to with drugs, even without Chemo, he could have a good chance of a year maybe two. If he can stand chemo and goes through it, he could have 3 to 8 years (his words). The lovely doctor told me it was too early to give percentages or treatment choices which I think we will be told about next week.
My Mum has surprised me. See is much more worse when it is not just me with her, and this is as we are going through all this. It was refreshing to learn that quite a few on here have historic food in their fridge too!
I didn't know about volunteer be frienders and will look at this.
There are a couple of nice locals who my Dad knows but my Mum doesn't and I want to encourage Dad to have them come round for coffee once or twice a week and perhaps introduce them to others in the village so Mum will have plenty of people to help her when the time comes and I am not here. I don't want her to go more than a day without talking to someone.
My brother finally surfaced today. He had said he would take Mum to see Dad at 2pm. WE left at 4.20pm and he got to the hospital. at 5.15pm and then went home afterwards!
I must go home today for a few days and my brother is coming to see Mum on Saturday afternoon, probably only to take her to the hospital.
At least I know it will all be down to me much as I had thought.
It is good that after years of asking there is a power of attorney in place.
My sister cannot be told and neither of them want anything to do with her. I tried but must respect their wishes.
So what now?
I will nibble away at getting Mum some new friends.
I will look into things like "HomeShare" which looks promising.
I will visit much more, at least twice a month to make the most of the time we have together and to gradually learn what Dad does, so that I can do it when the time comes. It took me over an hour to sort out what medication Mum has and when she was supposed to take it and order her some more!
If I had the patient NHS password I could have done the prescription stuff at the click of a mouse!
They are both too old to move now. They love their house and when and if the need arises, Mum can live downstairs and her live in help upstairs.
Thank you all so much for your kind replies, you are right, I need to look after myself, so its a prostate antengen test for me next week and get the doctor to look again at the lump under my arm which I have had for 6 years, but last night I found another one below it!