The saddest news I heard today

My young colleague has a male friend (he's 18) and he and his girfriend were due a baby. The girl is 38 weeks pregnant and today at the hospital they have given them the devastating
news that the baby has fluid on the brain. If the fluid was 15mm or less something may be able to be done but because the fluid measurement is much higher they are telling them it is going to be severely brain damaged when born.

My colleague said they have been offered the option of terminating the pregnancy. Oh my goodness, how do you make a decision like that. Let the baby be born and live as a cabbage or terminate the pregnancy.

This is devastating for that poor young woman and her boyfriend and also the family.

I'm really not sure what I would do. I'm not sure if it would be fair to bring a child into the world that can do nothing except exist by breathing, yet if I decided to terminate the pregnancy could I even live with myself at making that decision.

What a horrible, horrible nightmare this must be for them.

Re: The saddest news I heard today

What a terrible thing to hear. As a complete outsider, I think the pregnancy should be terminated. It isn't fair to give the child a life of misery.

Re: The saddest news I heard today

That's what I was thinking, the child wouldn't be able to even tell you if it was in pain, how miserable an existence would that be.

Re: The saddest news I heard today

My eldest daughter had to choose, her baby had similar with other complications too. She only lived a few hours after birth.
I'm not sure if it is better to go through with it, we have a child with a name to remember which is still causing much sorrow.
I wonder how things would be if she had chosen differently.
There's always the hope that the doctors have either got things wrong or that some miracle will happen.
We still get upset now after 9 years. I only held her after she had died. My daughter tried to run out of the hospital with her as if she could save her somehow.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Re: The saddest news I heard today

Oh TessA I am really sorry to hear this. Devastating for the whole family. (hugs) I'm sorry to have reminded you of the devastation you all felt and feel. xxxx

Re: The saddest news I heard today

I'm afraid I'd have to terminate too ... but what an awful gut wrenching decision to have to make at 38 weeks into her pregnancy.

Re: The saddest news I heard today

I think so too
How very sad .

Re: The saddest news I heard today

Don't worry, things like this need talking about. If it helps people to see the real situations they can find themselves in rather than hoping for the impossible. X

Re: The saddest news I heard today

It would be a painful decision, and one only the family can decide. The question is is it more ethical to terminate the pregnancy or bring a child into the world that will have to continue being cared for after you are gone. I know a family that the parents are getting old, facing their own mortality, and are scared to death of what will happen to their adult child after they are no longer able to care for him.

If it were my decision to make, I would terminate the pregnancy, I am not hampered in decision making by religion and I can understand why that may not be an option for others.

Re: The saddest news I heard today

That's something else I thought about, I knew someone who dedicated their life to caring for their brain damaged son but they have both died now and he ended up being taken into care, he died very shortly after moving into care, I often wonder if he died because he was heartbroken his Mum was gone.