Ladies, is this you?
I have just received the undernoted from a friend. I can certainly identify with most of it - hands up if you can too.
If my body was a car, I would be trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps, dents, scratches & my headlights are out of focus. My gearbox is seizing up & it takes me hours to reach maximum speed. I overheat for no reason and every time I sneeze, cough or laugh either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!